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Wedding Gift Thank You Notes – Q & A

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Getting ready to write out thank you notes for your wedding gifts?  Here are common questions that you might be having about how to handle the notes along with helpful advice.

I received gifts from people who couldn’t attend the wedding.  How do I write “sorry you couldn’t be with us?”

The best way to address someone who couldn’t attend your wedding is to first thank them for the beautiful gift they presented you with despite not being able to make it to the actual wedding.  Then let them know that they were thought of during the day and truly missed at the celebration.  Here is an example: “Thank you so much for the beautiful vase you sent us in celebration of our marriage.  We thought of you at our wedding and wanted you to know that you were truly missed.”

If a wedding guest didn’t bring a gift, should I write a thank you note anyway?

A thank you note is still a great way to thank someone who didn’t buy a wedding gift.  It gives your guest an opportunity to ask about something you should have gotten or let you know if something is on the way.

Should the thank you notes be handwritten?

Although there are many ways via technology to send someone a thank you note, proper etiquette and decorum still advises that the notes be handwritten.  We all live in a fast paced society and most schedules take up every minute of our day, but some traditions should never be set aside.  A handwritten note is as personal as the wedding your guest attended.

How do I thank people for wedding gifts that are returned because they were something we either didn’t want or didn’t need?

It is a safe bet that at least one of your wedding guests will go rogue and give you a wedding gift that isn’t on your registry and that you have no real use for in your home.  When this occurs, the best thing to do is to thank your guest for the thoughtful gift and leave your real intentions out.  There is no need to possibly insult them when he or she most likely believes they have given a special gift that will be welcomed.  Take the high road and finish the note with how much you appreciated them attending your wedding.

Should I have my husband sign the cards?

Having your husband sign the cards is another great way to personalize the thank you notes you are sending out.  However, it is really not something that will be analyzed the any great length by your guest.  Married couples for the most part are traditionally okay to sign for each other without incident.  Unless of course, we are talking about a life insurance policy!

How do you thank someone for a cash or check gift?

The best way to thank a guest who has given you a cash gift is to let them know how you plan to use the funds.  Are you putting it towards a down payment on a house?  Did you take it with you on the honeymoon?

Our cards got separated from our gifts.  How do I write a thank you note that doesn’t say a specific gift?

This can happen pretty easily in the shuffle of gifts and wrapping paper.  One great way to avoid this is to write a detailed list as you open the gifts.  However, if it has already happened, the best way to write your note is to simply outline how thoughtful their gift was and then focus on how wonderful it was that they could also attend and spend the day in celebration with you.

Should I write a thank you note as soon as I receive a gift, even if it is before the wedding?

It is a good idea to get a thank you note out right after receiving the gift.  Especially if it is prior to the wedding.  This is important for two reasons.  First, it will make your post wedding thank you note list that much shorter and there will be less chance of cards getting separated from gifts as time has passed.  Second, it could be a bit embarassing if your guest has to ask you at the wedding if you received their gift.  Part of a thank you note is validation for your guest that the UPS guy got it there.

Do you send a thank you note to each person when they are part of a group gift?

The best thing to do is to send a note to each person when a group gift is presented.  Sometimes group gifts are expensive items which means that each person paid as much or more than if he or she had purchased something separate.  Letting each person know how much it meant is as important as letting everyone who gave individual gifts know the significance of their gift.

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